Choosing your communication method

Call, email, text, Skype? Far too often I look down at my phone to contact someone, only to get stuck with the question, "Should I call? Text? Email?" With so many options right at our fingertips, what format of communication is best used when? Your distinctions may differ slightly with industry norms, but here is a general overview of when to use which communication method and what kind of urgency is most appropriate.

Phone
When to use it: When you need something immediately (a task or an answer) or need to schedule something for the future. Also good for meetings or discussions when getting together in person is not feasible. I've noticed the phone has fallen by the wayside for many people who don't have assistants, but if the person you're trying to reach has an assistant you can call, that's often the most direct route to reaching a real person.

Urgency: Medium to high.

Email
When to use it: When sending attachments, longer explanations, requests for information or to follow-up on a previous conversation or phone call. Email is also a nice format for long form personal communication, like keeping in touch with old friends. Check out additional email tips in this post (one of my first on the blog).

Urgency: Any, but make it clear in the message if you have a deadline or timeline to meet. If you need it within the hour, a phone call would be better—there are no guarantees that emails will be read right away.

Instant Message
When to use it: Some good uses for IMs include asking a clarifying question, prepping for a meeting or making plans (for a meeting, lunch, etc.). If you're asking a question that requires a lot of explanation, just walk over—IMs are best for one or two sentence answers.

Urgency: Low to medium. Since people may not be at their desk or available to chat at all times, you should expect that they'll answer on their own timetable.

Text Message
When to use it: To find someone in a crowd or at an event, or when meeting up outside of the office. Best used sparingly and when you only have mobile access.

Urgency: Medium (though it varies). In my head, I often think of text as the most immediate, second only to phone. Because of this, I have my phone set to vibrate on text, but never for email.

Social Media (Facebook or Twitter)
When to use it: Facebook and Twitter are most useful in a business setting to build personal rapport or to make new connections. When making new connections, use social media to bring the conversation off-line or to more traditional business communication by getting email or phone info.

Urgency: Low.

What is the communications urgency hierarchy in your industry? How do you decide what format to use?

Humble pie doesn't taste as good as it looks

 [flickr: enggul]

If you're doing your job well, chances are someone is seeing it. They may have even commended you on it, or called you out for recognition.

Think about the last time this happened: how did you react?

Did you look down bashfully and mutter a quick thanks? Or did you try to push the attention over to a coworker ("But did you see Sally's presentation? Now THAT is awesome")? I've done both.

A lot of people downplay their accomplishments at work because they are afraid of looking prideful or arrogant, but that humble bashfulness could come back to bite you later on. You've deflected the momentary attention, yes, along with the credit and recognition.

Consider this: You turn in an awesome project that showcases your creativity, innovative thinking, and problem-solving skills. Folks rave because it's unlike anything they've seen before. You demur, downplaying your role and your work. If that's what you keep telling them, eventually they're going to believe you. And all of a sudden, your work isn't as impressive as it seemed a moment ago.

Next time a compliment is tossed your way and you're tempted to say "It's no biggie," try one of these non-braggy and not-too-humble responses:

• "Aw, shucks."
•  "It was my pleasure." (I like this one because it not only acknowledges your role but shows that you're up for more challenges)
• "[Coworker who did as much work as you did] and I are really happy about how this turned out, too."
• And my favorite: "Thank you."

Do you tend to downplay your own work or are you happy to take credit when it's due? What tips do you have for accepting a compliment graciously?

How to say no at happy hour

 [Flickr: The Vault DFW]

The office environment can be a lot like high school, except everyone's old enough to drink and vote. There are cliques, just like high school. There are popular people and the not so popular, like high school. There is gossip and drama and hurt and friendship.

And, just like high school, there is peer pressure. Sometimes it's good, like when you spur each other on to reach your highest potential. Sometimes it's bad, like when you're sexually harassed. Sometimes, it's just there, like at happy hour. It's those gray areas that aren't right or wrong that can often cause the most headache.

How can happy hour be at all stressful? It has been for me, since I don't drink alcohol. I have nothing against it, but alcohol and Angeline just don't mix. If I'm not breaking out in itchy red hives all over, I'm having hot flashes and chills, and that's only half a drink in. I've heard of some people conditioning themselves to handle it, but I've tried and it's just not worth it anymore. Plus, I've never been cool, so I have no real rep to keep up. Your reasons may be different from mine, but we don't have to let our teetotaling get in the way of networking.

Participate
Happy hour can be an extremely valuable part of the professional experience, whether you're at a networking event or celebrating Friday with your coworkers. You don't have to go to every one, but make sure to participate somewhat regularly to stay in the loop.

Don't make it a big deal 
Just don't order an alcoholic drink. If someone asks you why, you can tell them the reason or make an excuse. Say it once—you don't need a long explanation. (My go-to: "Oh, I don't drink." ::smile::)

Indulge a little
My happy hour drink of choice is Coke or Diet Coke, and because I don't drink soda often, I'm still sharing in the slightly indulgent feel. Or I'll dig into the cheap happy hour eats (truffle fries, anyone?).

Don't be empty handed
Whether it's a sparkling water, a soda, or a virgin cocktail, if you have something in your hand, people will soon forget it's not alcohol. Ask for a garnish on your drink if you want it to feel extra special.

Laugh it off
If your coworkers are the teasing type, this may just be the thing they need to poke fun at you every once in a while. Play along, in moderation. If they bring the teasing into the workplace, you can throw it right back with a positive spin. I may not participate in the Friday drinking games, but I can rock a last-minute deadline or all-nighter as good as (OK, better than) the rest of them, so if they call me a goody-two-shoes, I'll correct them: I'm a goody-two-shoes-who-is-awesome-at-my-job.

What kind of peer pressure do you get in your office or at work events? How do you address it?

How to talk about politics (or not) at the office

 [William & Mary Law Library]

Growing up, I had it drilled into my head that there are two things you don't talk about at work: religion and politics. Personally, I'd add sex as a third topic to avoid, but still agree on the first two.

Politics is a hugely sensitive topic for some, though not all. People tend to take their politics personally, and issues and candidates can create an almost religious fervor, with folks evangelizing for the left or the right. Especially during campaign years, it may not be possible to completely avoid the topic, so here are some tips on how to avoid a potential sticky situation.

Be neutral. This is as much about the unspoken as it is the verbal. It's tempting to nod along with a speaker when they're talking in a group, but try to keep your body language as neutral as possible. You could also take the opposite tact and play devil's advocate to everybody and regularly contradict yourself, leaving others guessing about where you actually stand (which I personally think is sort of fun if you keep it light and low key).

Be a social butterfly. Even when you don't say anything, associating too closely with a group that is vocal about their politics may lead others (like your superiors) to indirectly associate you with that group's views as well. That doesn't mean you have to jump ship from a group completely, but it might be time to expand your circle to include others with differing opinions.

Be direct. We all have that one coworker who will ask the awkward question and put you on the spot. If you don't want to talk about politics in the workplace, then just say so. By making it about your own personal policies, it is less likely that people will take your choice as a slight on them. Just make sure to be consistent...word gets around.

Be funny. This is harder said than done (humor, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder), but if you can pull it off, try a joke. Perhaps you could start a mock campaign for your boss as a write-in candidate to lighten the mood—just make sure they know it's a joke and that you're not just trying to get rid of them.

Take it off site. If you have friends at work that share your political interests, or if you're campaigning for office yourself, save it for your own time and another place. Work should be a neutral zone, politically, but it is a valuable network, so if you do find others who share your interests, don't be afraid to strike up a friendship outside of work, too. Do not—really, please don't— display campaign materials (for candidates or issues) in your workspace.

If you work in a political office or for a politician, this is pretty moot, but for the rest of us, these tips can help avoid landmines. While most people can separate a others' political leanings from their professional work, keeping your politics to yourself can still save you from unnecessary disagreements or tension (you never know who's keeping score against you). And who doesn't want their workday to go a little smoother?

Do you mix political opinions into your professional dealings? What tips do you have for addressing (or not addressing) sensitive political topics at work?

When a friend gets laid off

[Mykl Roventine]

In this economy, lay-offs are nothing new. As a child, I remember them being talked about only once, briefly. They were an adult thing. And then I got into the workforce, and the economy tanked (in that order, thank goodness). In the nearly four years I was at my previous company, I saw and survived three rounds of lay-offs. A few friends were also laid off from their jobs. As an employed person, I wasn't quite sure what to do or how to support my friends, especially since I had never been in that situation. But through the years I've learned a few ways to help a friend after they've gotten the pink slip.

• Be a listening ear. Unless you've been there before and have good advice to give, just sit and listen. Even if you do have advice, it's good to listen first. Losing a job takes a major toll not only on a person's income, but on their self-esteem and overall security. I don't know about you, but those are things that I'm not equipped to address.
• Offer to connect them to your networks. If you know the person to be reliable and you happen to know others in their field (even if they're not hiring), introduce them. It will help keep the recently laid-off friend in the circle of their industry and perhaps even lead to something more. One of my favorite people to refer folks to is my dad...he's super connected and almost always has good advice about positions or occupations that match the individual's skills, however high or low they may be. 
• Be sensitive about their finances.  Don't leave them out, just get creative. Help your friend's savings last longer by inviting them over for a potluck instead of eating out. Or watch your latest Netflix with homemade popcorn—don't forget the chocolate chips and hot sauce for customizing to your taste (I don't recommend them together). It's okay to pick up the tab every once in a while when you do still go out, but don't make it a habit or it will start to feel like charity.
• Maintain friendships with laid-off coworkers if you were close before. Being employed while a coworker is laid off is an awkward situation. There is no way to sugarcoat that. If you weren't friends before, you don't have to start now, but if your lunch buddy got axed, don't give them the cold shoulder, too. Just steer clear of employer-bashing or too much work talk, and definitely don't have them meet you at work.
• Be interested in their job search. Lay-offs are like the giant elephant in the room (or is it the pink elephant? Or the pink gorilla? Cliche schmiche): No one wants to talk about them, but is avoiding the topic doing your friend any good? Don't speak up if you're just reminding them about their situation. But if you know your friend is actively searching, ask them how it's going and encourage them to talk about it. Take the taboo away.

Have you ever been laid off or survived lay-offs at your company? What tips do you have for helping a friend or coworker through the experience?

Reader Question: Mixing beach and business

I received a great question from a reader in the comments recently and it really got me thinking. You've probably seen Lorena's blog, which includes her daily work outfits and glimpses from around her city (check out the big houses in her neighborhood...gorgeous!). But she has a dilemma.

I have a question I thought you might be able to help with. I have a huge convention coming up and after it ends my boss chose to invite a few of the participants—all men—to a fun weekend. The weekend will consist either flying to an island or taking a boat to the island and spending the night. The thing is, it is a work-business related trip that I am also invited to. BUT the thought of going and having to wear a bathing suit in front of these men is totally intimidating. I want to go but I want to keep it professional. Any thoughts?

I haven't been in the exact situation Lorena describes, but I have worn my swimsuit (a bikini, no less) in front of male coworkers before. The first time, a female superior was also present and wearing a bikini. The second time, our spouses were with us and we were on different sides of a super-crowded hotel pool (for what it's worth, it was the same male colleague as before). Super-buttoned-up folks will also be horrified to learn that the bikini revealed my tattoo, which is not visible when I'm fully clothed. ::gasp:: Kosher? Maybe not, but it happened.

Back to Lorena. Some questions to think about: What will you be doing on the island? Will there be any activities that require getting wet? Will your male colleagues be in their swimsuits? Is the outing structured and scheduled or will you be free to do whatever you'd like?

The easy answer would be: if you don't feel comfortable in a bathing suit, don't wear one. But if water activities are on the schedule and expected of you, you should be prepared to participate. Conveniently forgetting your beach wear could come off as being unprepared, which is not an impression you want to impart on your colleagues. If you know you may get wet but still don't want to wear a swimsuit, keep your cover-up on. That begs the question: what kind of cover-up is appropriate?

If you can avoid being in the water, a sundress and sandals can keep you covered up and comfy relaxing on the sand or even throwing a frisbee. If you need more range of movement, perhaps for a hike or sporty activity, try capris or bermuda shorts and an embellished tank or tee (perhaps something borrowed from your business wear in a casual fabric).

Day Dresses by Lands' End Canvas
Sandals by Report

Shorts by Tommy Hilfiger
Sleeveless Tops by New York & Co.

If water activities will be part of the mix, try a tankini with a top that looks almost like a regular tank or halter. Throw on some bermuda boardshorts for a look that's modest but water-friendly. Bonus—you can wear it to dine or shop without it looking like you obviously threw on shorts over a one-piece swimsuit. I'd recommend against wearing cotton into the water, because it's sort of awkward wearing clothes not meant for water into the water and afterward you'll be damp for hours. Wearing something that's meant for water, like boardshorts, shows that you're not only prepared for the situation but are game for whatever they come up with.

Two-Piece Swimwear by Volcom
Sandals by Madewell

I think the key to make casual beach wear a little more appropriate in a potential business sense is accessories. Although I wouldn't normally wear jewelry with a bathing suit, I might put on some simple (and cheap) jewelry—something that you don't mind getting wet or putting away in your bag and leaving while you're in the water. If jewelry is not your thing, a gauzy scarf or hat will do the trick as well.

Sunglasses by Fossil
Scarves & Wraps by Madewell

Ashley of Ashley Getting Dressed asked a similar question last year...check out the comments on her post for their take on swimsuits and coworkers.

What do you think? Do you have any advice for Lorena?

My dog ate my homework and other work excuses that don't work

[rollanb]

We've all heard one. We've all said one. A lame excuse. While excuses can be annoying anytime, chronic excuses in the workplace can tarnish your reputation and cast doubts on your abilities.

Excuses that don't work:

• I was working on [low-priority project]. If you have a hard time prioritizing your work, ask your supervisor when the projects are assigned. If you don't ask, it may be assumed that you should know, and this excuse won't fly.
• I didn't know it was due yet. A few things you should always ask at the beginning of a project: timeline, budget, and relative priority. Not asking doesn't mean you're off the hook.
• Most things that you volunteer without being prompted. Making an excuse when you're not being questioned makes you sound guilty. Are you? 
• Anything that's repeated more than once a month. Chronic excuses send up a red flag. If you are constantly having difficulty getting your work done, then maybe you're in over your head.

Excuses that sometimes work:

• I'm waiting on [someone else]. Does this someone else know you're waiting on them? What's their excuse? While some folks just can't be prodded along quickly enough, learning good project and people management skills can help you avoid most situations like this.
• I didn't see that after-hours request come in. Although the lines are increasingly blurred with today's technology, this is valid if you're an hourly employee and aren't required to check in outside of work. If you're salaried and exempt from overtime, it's a little fuzzier, especially if you have a work-issued cell phone that you're expected to check.

Valid excuses:

• I was working on [higher priority project]. Although any excuse should also be avoided, if a high-priority rush project came in and took up your time, don't drop the ball. At the same time, you shouldn't let progress lapse on lower priority projects if you can help it.
• Emergencies. While I hope this doesn't happen to you, sometimes an emergency can derail our work. Sudden illness or medical emergencies, death, and personal catastrophes can result in unplanned days off work. 

I've made my fair share of excuses over the years (just ask my mom, she's heard them all). The most memorable one, though, has to be from President's Day weekend my second semester of grad school. K proposed on Friday night and I had an assignment that I hadn't started writing yet due at 5 pm on Saturday. I emailed the prof for a 24 hour extension, which she granted. When I got back to class on Tuesday morning, my prof outed me to the whole class, saying it was the best excuse she'd ever heard. I highly doubt it, but I was glad she was understanding (her son had recently gotten engaged, too).

What's the worst excuse you've ever heard at work? The worst one you've ever used?

The end of days: Preparing to leave your job

[source: woodleywonderworks]

The most common reason that I've had for leaving a job is relocating. It all started when I was 18 and I had a Christmas break seasonal gig at the Gap near my parents house. I didn't have a car at the time and my college was 30 minutes away, so I left that job after 2 weeks (it took them almost 2 weeks to hire me in the first place when I got home from break). Not a "relocation" per se, but it was geographic. In the past five years, though, it's been OC to NYC to OC to Sac/Davis, and now to Miami.

Now, I understand that most people leave jobs for a variety of other reasons. Either way, the last days at a job can be stressful. Here are some tips for easing the transition.

• Give appropriate notice. This might be two weeks or it might be more like two months. It depends on your office culture, how early you know you'll be leaving, and the type of preparation that needs to be done before you leave. For example, if you want to be around to train your replacement, give at least a month notice so your employer has time to recruit and hire.
• Wind down and wrap up. About two weeks before you leave, you should stop taking on any new long-ish term projects. Sit down with your supervisor to plan out the transition and lay out what tasks you should finish before you leave and what tasks can be delegated to a coworker or replacement.
• Keep a record. If your work produces materials or products, see if you can get some samples of your projects for your portfolio. It's always easier just to have them on hand than to try to hunt them down later if you want or need them. In my line of work, I just keep a running file...anytime we're done with a project I throw one of the finished pieces in my drawer.
• Clean out. If you're anything like me with my crazy amount of files, it's a nice courtesy to go through the files and clean out the unnecessary ones so your replacement isn't swimming in useless papers. If you're as crazy as I am, you'll also leave a print out of what exactly those files contain.
• Carry over your contacts. If you're staying in the same town or same industry, or even if you just really like your coworkers, go ahead and share your personal contact info with them if you'd like. I've had former coworkers do this to me in the past when they left, so I took a cue from them and did the same when I left.
• Keep it professional. Avoid getting bitter or vengeful about your old job, even if you are leaving because you can't stand it. While you may want to give a few suggestions on how to improve things in your exit interview, I'd caution against all-out venting. My advice--if you bring up a problem or annoyance, come up with a solution as well. 

How do you prepare to leave a job? What advice do you have?

How to deal with annoying coworkers | Reader Advice

 [Mr Thinktank]

 

I've given my thoughts on how to deal with annoying coworkers. Now hear what readers had to say! Here is the question I posed last week:

 

Which type of coworker annoys you most and how do you deal with it?  Do you have any tried-and-true advice for dealing with difficult people?

 

I have two least favorite types of co-workers then hurry up and wait priorityless guy and the that's not what we agreed upon guy. I hate working very hard and trying to create a feasible schedule for projects only to find out that something isn't important any more for a no reason. That project isn't being asked about OR something that another person fancies is suddenly more important. I understand when project priorities get shifted but the person who can't wrap their head around setting a list of priorities and sticking with it unless there's a real need to switch is infuriating. The second one who can never remember what you have agreed to work on is just as bad. I have taken time to set out in email the very specific outlines of projects or goal dates and approval times and then they sign off on the email. Then, they still either can't get me the information or contradict me about what they wanted. It's hard for me to think of a good way to handle this person so if you have any insight, please pass it along! —Destrehan's Daughter  

I think its so funny how on each of the descriptions you added "What if you are..." I can say I am not the latebird. CHECK. Or the oddball. CHECK. BUT IF I had to be any of these I'd be the oddball. There is one type of co worker that totally distracts me, it's the one that BLOWS UP anything small and not so meaningful and makes it your nightmare. Distracts everyone from what they are doing and makes them focus on THAT they are trying to solve. I don't even know what to call it, it just does not make sense. —Lorena 

I am NO morning person and I am trying to do the best I can to get to work on time! I don't know what it is, ever since I was a kid it was just tough for me to get out of bed! I love how you profile these various work personalities! —B. Inspired

 

I detest those that commit to taking on a task, and then totally drop the ball. Then look at me like I have three heads when asked where the expected outcome is??!?!? —rskmom

 

I have had my fair share of oddballs at my workplace. They're not so bad once you realize they're just a little different. They make work more interesting! :) —Kileen

My biggest problem is with colleagues who want to socialize. I absolutely cannot get work done at the office because of this. I may need to cover the glass in my office door. —Terri

So what do you think? Do you have any advice to add?

How to deal with annoying coworkers | Latebirds, oddballs, and [you fill in the blank]

[andyofne]

Sometimes annoying traits are something you can point out to a person to help them out (say, your best friend or kid brother). Other times, you just gotta work around it. While the traits I've covered the past several weeks can be grating, they're generally harmless, and are part of what makes our workplaces diverse and interesting. If everyone were just nice and well-behaved and well-groomed, it'd be a little creepy (Stepford Wives, anyone?). Check out parts one, two, and three of this series.

Latebirds

• Late (duh)
• Doesn't follow deadlines
• Full of excuses
• Shifts blame
• Busy body

Why someone might be a latebird: Latebirds fall into two categories: those that are apathetic and those that are well-intentioned but just can't keep to a clock. The apathetic latebird will habitually shift blame, for example, "I didn't get to project X because I was working on project Y" (even though you know there was time for both). They often just "haven't gotten around to it" and feign busy-ness rather well. The well-intentioned latebird often actually has a large load of work on their plate, and once they get to the project at hand, can usually knock it out of the ballpark.

How to deal with a latebird: A key point in working with latebirds is keeping expectations and communication clear. One strategy is also to ask the individual how long each task will take before setting the deadline, to make sure you're on the same page. Sure, they'll probably pad it a little, but if it fits into your time frame as well, then you may be in luck when it's actually done. It's also a good idea to follow up with latebirds as deadlines approach, but be careful not to micromanage. Open communication throughout a project helps, too.

What if you are a latebird? Be honest with expectations and timelines when starting a project. Don't procrastinate...tackle a little at a time if possible. Don't make frivolous excuses, and be honest about your workload. As for punctuality, if the office start time just isn't working out, try talking to your supervisor about adjusted hours...if the flexibility isn't there, it's still your responsibility to be present, so do what you have to (12 alarms, 3 double espressos, etc.). A little extra productivity won't kill you.

Oddballs

• Overly obsessed with something...anything
• Rambles on about their obsession of choice to anyone
• Has trouble concentrating on something other than their obsession
• A little quirky

Why someone might be an oddball: They really like their hobbies. Like, really really like. Perhaps they've taken up an interest as a way to meet people or to set themselves apart, and it's just spiraled into an all-consuming passion. There's really nothing wrong with being an oddball.

How to deal with an oddball: Oddballs, in my opinion, are rather endearing. If it's not interfering with work, listen to them as long as you can stand, or try to engage them in your hobbies. They're usually pretty interested in anything of the hobby sort, since it shows that you're passionate about something, too (even if it's not the same thing they're into).

What if you are an oddball? Be aware of when folks get shifty-eyed and ready to leave your cube. If people are interested, they'll ask questions. Don't be afraid to show your hobbies, just be sensitive to others work schedules and interest levels...if it's interfering with productivity at all, you should avoid it.

Now I want to know... 

Which type of coworker annoys you most and how do you deal with it?  Do you have any tried-and-true advice for dealing with difficult people?

Feel free to use any of the personalities I've profiled or another type I haven't covered. I'll pull together your responses in a round-up post next week!

How to deal with annoying coworkers | Bad habits and backstabbers

 [truds09]

We're on week three of annoying coworkers! We've already covered the downer, the bulldozer, the oversharer, and the eager beaver. Today's topic: people with annoying bad habits and backstabbers.

Bad Habits

• Smelly
• Loud chewer
• Hums, whistles, or talks to themselves
• Foot-tapper
• Loud phone talker

Why someone might have a bad habit: Oftentimes, this coworker does not know that they have a weird habit, or even if they're aware of it, they may not realize how annoying it is. Some bad habits are a nervous tic, so they may just be wound tightly.

How to deal with someone with a bad habit: Don't take it personally. If you are in a position to offer advice, kindly pull them aside one-on-one and mention that this habit might be inhibiting work productivity or may be holding them back. Be kind but direct, so you only have to make one pass (one convo is awkward enough, a second is torture).  "I'm pretty impressed by your whistling skills, but it distracts me and others when we're trying work. Would you mind not whistling during work?"

What if you have a bad habit? If you're not sure whether you have a bad habit or not, ask a trusted coworker. Be open to hearing the truth. And be willing to come up with an alternative, such as eating your lunch in the breakroom instead of at your desk. Have your trusted coworker keep you accountable to rid you of your bad habit.

The Backstabber

• Pounces on others' weakness
• Often cozy with the higher-ups
• Gossipy
• Burns bridges
• Benefits from others' misfortunes

Why someone might be a backstabber: Much like the bulldozer, the backstabber is a insecure. But they also take it to the next level--instead of just running over people to be heard, they try to tear down those in their way for long-term negative consequences. This is just mean.

How to deal with a backstabber: Don't offer any information they could use against you. Keep records of correspondence and work completed so that you'll have evidence if they try to attack. And be aware and steer clear of who they associate with, too; backstabbers often have a little gaggle of followers or a small group of confidantes that are equally as mean.

What if you're the backstabber? Cut it out! You may think you're serving some greater good by tattling on a coworker for your own benefit, and it may offer short-term results, but in the end, burning bridges is a bad, bad idea. Even if no one is saying anything, if others notice this type of behavior, it could come back and bite you in the future (not-as-positive referrals, losing future contacts, lack of trust from others).

Have you encountered these personality types? What tips do you have to deal with them?

How to deal with annoying coworkers | Oversharers and eager beavers

[lokidude99]

In part 2 of the annoying coworkers series, we're going to tackle oversharers and eager beavers.

The Oversharer

• Offers unsolicited personal information
• Inappropriate conversation or behavior (often sexual or flirtatious)
• Sometimes also a downer
• Spends a lot of time talking rather than working

Why someone might be an oversharer: People overshare for many reasons, but one thing is for sure: oversharers misjudge how close they are to others and how others perceive them. While this can be true of many relationships outside of the workplace, it presents the biggest pickle in the workplace. 

How to deal with an oversharer: Oversharers aren't good at social cues (see above) so a simple look or facial expression may not get through to them. I usually stick with a simple, "Whoa, TMI!" (in a somewhat jokey manner) but another thing you could try is noting times where you don't feel the conversation would be appropriate for you to continue: "...but I shouldn't say any more...it's a bit inappropriate for the workplace." Passive aggressive, maybe, but it shows you see boundaries without directly attacking them.

What if you're the oversharer? If you hesitate on sharing something, just don't. Let the other person lead the conversation, and keep your discussion within their preferred scope. If a joke isn't appropriate to tell your spouse's grandmother, then it's probably not appropriate for work (a sliding scale, I know, but you get where I'm headed).

The Eager Beaver

• Overly enthusiastic
• Moves and speaks quickly (sometimes too quickly) and loudly
• May take on too much
• Often speaks and acts before they think
• Finishes work before the deadline

Why someone might be an eager beaver: Eager beaver behavior often comes with inexperience. These people mean well and desperately want to do a good job and be liked. They're just trying to make a good impression, and don't realize that they may be stepping on toes or shattering eardrums in the process.

How to deal with an eager beaver: Offer some (but not too much) praise and recognition. Give them research-based projects to use their abundance of energy. Encourage deeper thinking and let them in on your thought process or strategy session so they see what goes into certain actions or decisions.

What if you're the eager beaver? Cut back on the caffeine and sugar (don't cut it out, it's good for you). If you find yourself finishing up your work way ahead of the deadline, lay it aside for a few hours and come back to it later to consider how you could hone it more or add more to the finished product. Read up on industry practices or strategy to inform your decisions...you may be surprised at what you may learn.

Of all the personality types (including the upcoming ones), eager beaver hits closest to home. I'm pretty high-energy even without coffee, and I'm sure I've annoyed others with my enthusiastic and optimistic take on life. I've mellowed out a lot as I've racked up some experience behind me, so I can speak firsthand to how I've become less crazed rodent and more savvy Sally (but still optimistic).

Missed last week's installment? Check out the downer and the bulldozer.

Do you have an oversharer or eager beaver at work? Or are you one? Any tips to add?

How to deal with annoying coworkers | Downers and bulldozers

[smaedli]

If you caught my tweets or Facebook last Friday, you'll know I spent a chunk of my morning at the Fox 40 Live studio in Sacramento doing a brief segment on dealing with annoying coworkers. I only had about two minutes. If you're keeping track, that's 7 minutes of local TV fame, eight more to go (I better start spreading these out more).

We profiled two imaginary people with traits that are often found together to help viewers visualize the tips and how they could be applied. This is in no way comprehensive, so I will be exploring other potentially annoying traits as well, and spreading these posts over the next few weeks.

I'm talking from experience here—I know I have been the annoying coworker at one time or another (ok, a lot of the time). I think the key is to recognize when these behaviors are appropriate and how to not let them interfere with your work relationships.

First up, the two imaginary profiles we talked about on air: the downer and the bulldozer.

The Downer

• Chronic complainer
• Negative about outcomes / pessimistic (not to be confused with realistic)
• Raises doubts in others
• Slacker
• Not concerned with how they are perceived
• Tends to bring up personal woes at work

Why someone might be a downer: Lack of confidence in self or work, tension or troubles in personal life, don't care about work (perhaps looking to move on),

How to deal with a downer: Compliment them on a job well done (find something, even if it's small). Remind them of past successes. Acknowledge their feelings genuinely and then gently turn the conversation back to the work at hand. Something like, "I'm sorry to hear about that. I hope things work out. Do you have a few minutes to discuss [project x]?"

What if you're the downer? Try something new in life, or pitch a new idea at work. Think back to the last success you had (yes, that thing you did this morning counts) and recapture that feeling. Connect with creative friends (coworkers included) off the clock. Find something that motivates you and keeping that close by as a reminder.

The Bulldozer

• Dominates conversations
• Self-promoter
• Doesn’t take direction well
• Resistant to other opinions
• Not a team player

Why someone might be a bulldozer: They're trying to prove themselves, they are afraid no one will see their work if they don't trumpet it themselves, they want to control their projects.

How to deal with a bulldozer: Acknowledge their contributions. This may seem counter-intuitive (they're already trumpeting themselves enough), but if it's already been said, they'll look super-silly saying it again. If you're on the same team and the person is hogging projects that you want, express interest in a project or duty first (one-on-one with your supervisor) so it's not up for grabs later.

What if you're the bulldozer? Listen—I mean really listen. Try someone else's suggestion, and if theirs doesn't work, then pitch your idea as the fallback. Acknowledge the contributions of others (none of us can do this alone). Offer helpful suggestions for others to take or leave (and don't get butthurt if they leave it).

How do you deal with the downers and bulldozers in your life? What other coworker stereotypes would you like to see in this series?

And in case you were interested in seeing the clip, here you go! Pardon the throat-clearing...I had just downed my coffee and still had coffee-throat.

Go on, brush your shoulders off

[Lara604]

In every budding career, a little constructive criticism will fall. It's how we learn. But some folks are better at delivering criticism than others, and there will be times when a well-intentioned comment will send you into an emotional spiral. Other folks may deliver straight criticism. I can't promise you that criticism will ever stop (just the opposite--it won't), but here are some tips on how to handle it when it happens to you.

• Take a deep breath and step away. Being criticized is hard, no matter how many times it happens to you. I find that taking a step back and not reacting right away is the best immediate response. A few minutes (or even days) to clear your head can do wonders for a professional response.
• Find the silver lining. It's easy to find the positive in constructive criticism—often the criticizer includes it in the comment or leaves a door open for you to ask follow-up questions about how to improve. And the positive of that is that you have an opportunity to grow in your professionalism and abilities. Regular criticism may or may not have a silver lining, but even if the criticizer didn't intend any positive outcomes, you can embrace the criticism, find your own positive way out, and show them who's boss.
• Seek a second opinion. Especially when the criticism doesn't seem constructive at first, it's helpful to get another opinion from someone you trust professionally. For example, if a colleague expressed the criticism, you may go to your supervisor to ask their opinion and whether there's anything you can do to avoid the criticism in the future. They may be able to turn it into a constructive comment after all. A trusted coworker or even someone outside your company may be able to offer an objective take on the situation as well.
• Don't forget the lesson. On the flip-side of being hurt too easily, there are those that are criticized for the same thing over and over again. Once you've found the lesson, hold it near and remember it. I can't even count how many little things I learned in my first year on the job that still run through my mind regularly and help me in my work.
• Don't be afraid to put yourself back out there. It's easy to be a little gun-shy after you've been shot down a few times. But holding back isn't the answer...keep your head up, stay confident in your abilities, and try again (and again and again). 

How do you handle criticism?

Facebook friend lists—what you need to know if your coworkers are your Facebook friends

Back in college, social media was just a fun place to virtually hang out with your friends. Ah, to be back in the days when The Facebook was only open to .edu addresses and we were so cool for having a profile. Our parents weren't on it. Neither were our bosses. These days your grandma can probably see what you're doing on Facebook, and in the workplace social media can get you hired or fired.

While in some workplaces it is uncommon to add coworkers on Facebook, in others it is part of the company culture to do so. I happen to work at the latter, where our CEO is often the first to friend you, and our HR director next. And they will hound you when you don't accept (all in good fun, of course). They're perfectly nice people, but I'm pretty sure they don't want to hear me gushing over my nephew's latest cute words or my husband's latest culinary masterpiece.

Enter: Facebook friend lists

Facebook friend lists allow you to segment your friends and apply global or selected privacy settings to those categories of friends. So you could group your family into one, and make sure they can't see your college photos. Or keep your coworkers from seeing what your brother posts on your wall. Once you get these lists set up, it's easy to keep them maintained--every time you accept a friend request there is an option to "add to list." Friends can be on more than one list.

Setting up a friend list
Choose "Friends" from the left navigation, and "Edit Friends" from that page.

Select "Create a List." You'll also see options to edit the lists your friends appear on from their listing.

Name your new list and scroll through to select friends or type in names to add them to the list. Click "Create List" to finish.

Using lists for privacy: Case-by-case
We'll get to global privacy settings next, but what if you have specific posts you want to keep from a certain person or group of people? You can do that right from your status message or shared photo/link. The options are by the lock icon in the share section of your profile.

You can choose to make it visible to limited people, or hide from select friends. For the hiding options, you can type in names of individual friends or lists. You can make this the default setting from here, or do it in your overall privacy settings. Make sure to "Save Setting" before you post.

Using lists for privacy: Global settings
To apply sitewide privacy controls using lists, select "Privacy Settings" from the top right menu.

To use lists, choose "Customize settings."

You will see a list of actions or areas of information, each with a drop down menu to the right. Select "Customize" to see the same customization menu as above (in the case-by-case section).

You can also select custom settings for each photo album you've created. At the bottom of the "Things I share" section in the above screen, there is a text link that says "Edit privacy settings for existing photo albums and videos." It will show you the screen below with the option to customize viewing permissions by album.

Well there you have it—a quick rundown of Facebook lists. As you can see from my screens above, I keep my Facebook pretty locked down, with many sections visible only to me. I don't put a ton of controls on lists otherwise, instead opting for case-by-case filtering or just simply making sure I don't overshare on Facebook in the first place.

Are you friends with your boss or coworkers on Facebook? How do you manage what is seen or not seen? Have you "liked" The New Professional on Facebook yet?